THE FIRST FEW WEEKS: SURVIVAL MODE

What you may experience:
✓ Shock, numbness, disbelief
✓ Brain fog and difficulty concentrating
✓ Trouble sleeping or eating
✓ Intense waves of sadness, anger, guilt, or fear
✓ Feeling like the world is moving while yours has stopped

Gentle reminders:
Drink water, even when you don’t feel like it
Eat something simple each day
Rest whenever your body asks for it
Accept help when it’s offered
Let trusted people handle immediate logistics if possible
Keep a notebook nearby for important information and thoughts
Avoid making major life decisions right away if you can
Give yourself permission to cry. Or not cry

What to expect:
• People will show up strongly at first.
• You may feel emotionally flooded or completely numb.
• Both are normal.
• You may repeat yourself often because your brain is trying to process trauma.

THE FIRST FEW MONTHS: REALITY SETTLES IN

What you may experience:
✓ The “fog” may lift, and the reality feels heavier
✓ Loneliness often deepens after support fades
✓ Administrative tasks can feel exhausting
✓ Triggers can come out of nowhere
✓ Anger and anxiety may rise unexpectedly

Gentle reminders:
Make a list of important accounts, bills, and paperwork
Ask for help with finances or legal items if needed
Start creating small routines for stability
Find one safe person or support group to talk with
Say no to things that drain you
Keep their belongings untouched until you feel ready
Expect grief to be inconsistent. It will come in waves
Limit pressure to “move on”

What to expect:
• This is often when others return to normal life, but your grief may feel bigger.
• Secondary losses may appear. Such as friendships, routines, identity and financial security.
• You may start asking deeper questions like “Who am I now?”

THE FIRST YEAR: LEARNING TO “CARRY” IT

What you may experience:
✓ The first birthdays, anniversaries, holidays, and milestones
✓ Unexpected moments of peace mixed with guilt
✓ A shifting identity
✓ Less shock, but deeper missing
✓ New strength you didn’t know you had

Gentle reminders:
Plan ahead for difficult dates
Create rituals to honor your person
Let joy coexist with grief
Don’t compare your healing to anyone else’s
Try something new when you feel ready
Reconnect with parts of yourself slowly
Keep talking about them if it helps
Allow love and life to still find you

What to expect:
• The grief doesn’t disappear, it changes shape.
• Some days will feel lighter; some may feel as heavy as day one.
• Healing is not forgetting.
• Loving again, laughing again, living again does not betray them.

BUT MOST IMPORTANT OF ALL………

Be patient with yourself
Ask for help when you need it
Find community
Remember: Survival is enough right now!

You are not expected to have this figured out.

One day at a time.
One hour at a time if needed.

And if all you did today was make it through…..that counts too!